There are many fun things about the fall season: cooler temperatures, football season and a shift back into a structured routine. But for some, the transition into fall and heading back to school can bubble up fears and anxiety.
 
For children who may have experienced a tough school year last year, or maybe this is their first year at school ever – or even heading off to a different and new-to-them school – walking into the fall can be scary, isolating and hold a lot of unknowns.
 
Children can be nervous about new routines, what their schoolwork will look like and how interactions with others might go. And the truth is: most parents are nervous too.
 
Almost 90% of parents of children under 18 say the back-to-school season causes them stress and anxiety. And for parents of children who experience learning or thinking differences, they are more likely to feel stressed, unprepared or scared for the upcoming year.
 
Facing a fear on your own can be daunting. But reminding your child you may be experiencing nervousness, fear or anxiety too can help them feel less alone.

How to tell if your child is experiencing anxiety

For most kids, jitters can be a normal part of back to school and will likely diminish over a few weeks. So, it’s normal to notice an increase in worry about the school days ahead. But for some, especially those who already struggle with anxiety or have experienced adverse life challenges leading up to heading back to school, the looming school year can be very stressful.
 
Here are a few behaviors Harvard recommends taking note of that might suggest your child is struggling with increased anxiety when it comes to returning to school:

• Repeated, worried questions such as, “What if I don’t have anyone to sit with or play with because I have no friends?” even after receiving an answer.
• Significant changes in sleep behavior like taking much longer to go to sleep than typical or waking up in the middle of the night with worries when traditionally has slept well.
• Looking for ways to avoid any school-related activities or school itself when it starts.

Support your child through their fears

Whether your child is experiencing a lot of anxiety about school or just a few nervous jitters, there are ways you can support and encourage them. Walking alongside them through their anxiety reminds them they are not facing this alone and that they have a safe space to continue to share their fears and joys.

1. Name and address emotions. Rather than dismissing a fear or avoiding it, help your child define what they’re feeling and discuss steps they can take to quell those worries. Identifying all emotions from fear to bravery can help your child learn to navigate them on their own one day too.
2. Encourage enough sleep and well-rounded nutrition. Sometimes even shifting from the summer sleep-in routine to school produces anxiety. And when you’re not well-rested, it’s much harder to identify and manage emotions. In addition, healthy eating can help balance overall mental health.
3. Try the 3-3-3 rule. The 3-3-3 rule is a mindfulness activity that can help shift your anxious mind to your other senses. Identify three things you can see, three you can hear and three ways you can move your body. This is a great tool for children and parents to practice together and implement when separated at school.

Make friends by being a friend: Benefits of friendship in school

We likely have all experienced the fear of walking into a new school or environment and not knowing many people and being unsure if we’d be able to make any friends. Imagine if you were a child who just spent the summer in a new foster home and is heading to a new school or a child who moved up a grade but that means they’re entering middle or high school for the first time.
 
Our children are resilient and brave, but it doesn’t hurt to have an extra friend around. As the old saying goes, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
 
We can encourage our children to be a friend to those who may not have any friends just yet. Having friendships children not only boosts their overall well-being long-term but can even positively impact their academic performance and GPA through emotional support and reduced stress.
 
Here are a few ways you can encourage your kids to be a friend to others at school.

• If your child sees someone playing or sitting alone, encourage your child to engage with them. It’s helpful to role play this at home so they can practice how they might ask. “Hi, I’m Noah. Do you want to play tag with me?” Or even, “Hi. Is it OK if I sit with you?”
• A smile goes a long way! There are numerous benefits for both kids through a spontaneous smile in the hallway.
• Share a word of encouragement. Not sure how to start a conversation with someone? Notice they are acing all the problems in math class? Don’t be afraid to give someone a compliment through a note or a word at lunch. 

The back-to-school nerves can rev up before school starts, within the first few weeks or even after Christmas break, so we pray these tips and resources can support you and your family in finding ways to communicate and enjoy the school year together.

If you’re looking for support, encouragement and enrichment for the whole family, find a Buckner Family Hope Center® location near you to attend community events, educational classes and family coaching.

Find family empowerment and encouragement a Buckner Family Hope Center® near you.